Let me tell you. When you hear the words “you have breast cancer”, a bunch of different emotions come up. My first reaction was I’m only going to have a lumpectomy and no chemo or radiation. When I was a child I would always say that if I ever got cancer, I was not going to get chemo. It made people so sick and it’s putting toxic poison into the body. I was afraid of chemo. I had seen it ravage people that I knew and almost kill them. I was very adamant about not wanting chemo. Some people respected my decision while others, not so much.
Even though I knew in my gut that I had breast cancer before I got the actual diagnosis, I was kind of shocked to actually hear it come out of my GYN’s mouth. I am pretty good at hiding my feelings and I pushed all those feelings down deep inside me. I was more concerned for my Mom and how she was going to handle it, having a terminal illness herself. After I got off the phone with my GYN and getting the diagnosis, I went over to my Mom and hugged her and comforted her. I said to myself, “here we go again.” You see, my family has been hit again and again and again. My brother (my only sibling) died at the age of 26 from complications of AIDS in 1990. My dad died in 2001 from a pulmonary embolism. I was diagnosed with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia in 2005. My Mom was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) in November of 2009. My Aunts & Uncles live in other states so there is no family near by to help. I am her main caregiver. Then I get diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2011. I say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! How much can one family take???????